Things that make you look like a horrible human being in the eyes of a sales associate.

I'm on a list-making spree lately. They're fun! Anyways, having worked in retail for a bit, I've come across a few (okay, a lot) things that customers do that royally piss off the employees. Here are some of my favorites:

1. When you walk into the store and refuse to acknowledge any sort of greeting. In sales, most of us are taught to say an enthusiastic "hi!" and greet the customers. About half of the time we are met with a grunt and quick shuffle away. RUDE. It takes all of a second to, dare I say it, smile and say hello. Oh, and by the way, we might tell you about our awesome sales going on right now. You came to buy stuff, right? Quit acting like a snob. Would you do that if you were walking down the street and someone said hi to you? No. And if you would, well then you actually are a horrible human being and I'm sorry I'm wasting your time. You should probably stop reading.
2. When you act like an actual monkey in the store. Okay, maybe not a monkey, but down-right zoo-like for sure. We size all of our shirts and such for you. We try to make it as easy as possible for you to find your size. We're sorry that the biggest sizes are on the bottom, but it's because they're...bigger. That doesn't give you the right to take all the other sizes and chuck them across the store like they're mushy bananas. I might be over-exaggerating, but then again...not really.
3. When you proceed to act like a monkey in the fitting room. At our store, we have no limit in the fitting room. Take whatever amount of clothing your heart desires in there. Try on as much as you want. Really, we love to help dress and design your wardrobe, I'm being genuine. But please please please please PLEASE don't leave all of your clothes in there looking like you created your own tornadic destruction machine right there in the stall. I know that's not what your bedroom looks like. And if it is, I don't care. YOU ARE IN PUBLIC. Have some respect! 
4. When you apparently attempt to put things away, but put things back on hangers inside-out. Really. REALLY?! In that case, I'd rather you leave the tornado. There's no way you don't see that you're putting it on there inside-out! Stop trying to make yourself feel better by saying that you "cleaned up" after yourself. That didn't work with your mom when you half-assed your chores, and it won't work for us, either.
5. When you bring in like, 12 different items into the fitting room, and walk out with nothing. You cannot seriously tell me that none of that stuff worked. And even if that were the case, can't you just make us feel a little better and bring a couple of them back out with you? Please? 
6. When you ask us to price check everything you bring up to the register. HELLO. IT SAYS THE PRICE ON THE MACHINE IN FRONT OF YOU. Oh, and not to mention on the sticker, or on the in numerous signs around the store. Furthermore, if you're going to ask us to price check everything, at least buy SOMETHING. 
7. When you yell at the sales associates about things like prices, signs, sales, etc. Newsflash: Unless you're shopping at a tiny "ma and pop" store, sales associates/managers don't control any of that. We/they get told by the "big bosses" at corporate what to put where, how to price things, etc. We literally just listen to our boss. If you want to complain, complain to them. Another newsflash: They probably won't care, either.
8. When you pee in the store. And not in the bathroom toilet. That is all. 

Follow this simple step-by-step guideline (and slight berating) and your sales associate at your local clothing store won't want to kill you. While we can't necessarily spit in your food, we can certainly keep you from saving money by not offering you that coupon you give anyone else. Or we can put you through slight moments of sheer panic when you think that your total is 2,948 when it's actually only 29.48 and we just "messed up." It's the little things that get us through the day, people. 

*Note: this may have been inspired by a recent day at work.