I remember waking up the morning I was to move into Tripp at the University of Wisconsin - Madison and balling profusely. I called my then boyfriend and insisted he tell me I was going to love it and be successful and "who cares if they drink you'll love it anyways." I remember shaking in the car on the way there and being nervous and feeling like a social two-year-old when I met all the girls in the hall. I remember my first night being lonely and afraid even though my best friend stayed the night with me. I remember being so unsure.
Tomorrow I will wake up and I will get ready for my graduation from the University of Wisconsin - Madison. I will ball profusely because I do not want to leave this terrific institution. I will talk to my mom who will tell me that the best is yet to come and I will love it and be successful. I will shake on the way up to the podium all while thinking "good Lord please don't let me trip." I will be nervous and feel like a social two-year-old among my peers and professors from the School of Human Ecology because it's certain that I will vomit everywhere if I so much as open my mouth. I will go to dinner with my friends tomorrow night and have celebratory drinks with them. I will be so certain in my decision to go to this University and I will be sure of my future elsewhere.
My three years here have been the best and most difficult years of my life. I've gone through moments of happiness and moments of despair (not what you think - I'm talking about the Rosebowl. All three of them). I've celebrated Halloween and Mifflin like the champs we were and I've studied all night for my Cognitive Psych exam at Steenbock. I've gone to bars underage (yes, sorry family), and I've had my wallet stolen three too many times. I've read and read and read about history and babies and have written about history and babies. I've sucked up to professors and cried my way to better grades. I've held a trash can for a friend while they puked in it for hours. I've run barefoot down state street and called an ambulance for my best friend (who refused to keep her Harry Potter scar regardless of my advising). I've rekindled relationships with old friends. I've made friends with a ginger. Also friends with someone who doesn't like to wear clothes ever. Also friends with someone I blatantly and truthfully called an asshole (sorry, Michael). I've studied abroad. I've gone home for summer. I've gone home for the weekend, a night. And every time, EVERY TIME I cannot wait to get back to Madison. I've perspired my way up Bascom Hill and have slid on the ice down it (one time, I swear). I've drank beer at the terrace and eaten way too much Babcock Dairy ice cream than I'm willing to admit. Also Babcock chocolate milk. They ship that stuff, right? I've written a thirty page thesis. I've studied children of incarcerated parents. I've gone out for a friends engagement. I've worked about seven different jobs. I've gone to football games and hockey games. I've hugged Bucky Badger.
I've had the time of my life here, and I thank all of you for being a part of it.
Friday, May 17, 2013
Friday, May 10, 2013
What happens when you graduate college
You wake up one morning and you realize that you only have one week as an undergraduate. What the HELL happened?
This week was my last week of classes at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. While I'm always super excited for classes to be over (especially the really dumb ones I will never ever use), this week was different. I found myself acting differently and responding to things differently than I have in the past. For one, I cried before class on Thursday. For two, I didn't go to bed early (come on, guys, that's a big deal for this kid). For three, I was trying to make class time go a little bit longer.
Why?
Because when I woke up on Tuesday to go to class, I looked in the mirror and realized "Holy crap, I'm graduating from college and I'm 22 and I'm old and a grown up."
There's this thing that happens during this week. You start to think about each moment you're in and how immediately that moment is gone. You start to think about your freshman or sophomore or whatever year was your first year at this institution you're graduating from and remember that feeling on the way to your dorm. For me, that feeling was fear, anticipation, anxiety, excitement, pretty much every feeling ever. You arrive in your dorm and you just want to meet new people. You can't wait to order your books, you can't wait to go to your first class, you can't wait for your parents to leave so you can go to your first "real" party. You can't wait to go to that first UW football game and you can't wait for your first jump around. You can't wait to play dizzy bat and puke everywhere after because let's face it, it's unavoidable. You can't wait to eat shitty food from Gordon's or Frank's or whatever those spoiled baby freshmen get nowadays. You can't wait to cram everyone on your floor into one room because hey, we're freshmen and it's what we do. You can't wait until you're a sophomore and you can make fun of freshmen. You can't wait for that internship, that first college job, your seminar classes. You can't wait to turn twenty-one because using a fake even when it's to Brogan's (rest in peace) or Nitty and you know you'll get in anyways, is still terrifying. You can't wait to go to the real bars. You can't wait until your friends stop wanting to go to the real bars because it's SO DAMN EXPENSIVE. You can't wait until senior year because junior year sucks and senioritis is already calling.
Except shit, now senior year is done. So my advice to all of you non-seniors? Wait.
Wait to make a college decision. Wait to move into your dorm. Wait to order books, go to classes, meet new people. Wait to go to that first UW game and play dizzy bat and throw up. Wait to eat that shitty food, wait to turn twenty-one. Wait to be a senior. Because soon enough, you will be, and soon enough, it will be over. And you'll be left wondering where time went and what happened and sobbing while looking at facebook pictures and eating cans of soup because you're trying to not buy groceries until graduation (that last part might be exclusive to me).
I know this is super cliche, but most of my blog posts are. I mean it, you crazy kids. College goes by SO FAST and it's the best time of your life so take everything and slow down. Wake up and appreciate where you are and who you're with and that hangover shitty gut feeling that you wish you didn't have. Someday you'll look back on these times and wish it were here (okay, maybe without the hangover). This is the last four years of our lives that we can actually and respectfully call ourselves "kids" and not be laughed at. Do not take it for granted.
For those of you reading who are walking with me across that stage at the Kohl Center next weekend, I commend you. Take this next week or these next few months and appreciate being able to be in this terrific city. Appreciate walking up Bascom and sitting at the terrace. Appreciate going out on a weeknight even though everything (and your boss) tells you not to. Appreciate shitty bars because hey, they're OUR shitty bars. Appreciate the loud noise the street makes when you're trying to sleep. Appreciate the capitol. Appreciate being able to text a friend when you've had a shitty shitty morning and just being able to walk over to eat breakfast and rant. Appreciate your friends drunken text messages and snapchats that they will never get back and GOD you did not want to see that. Appreciate library mall and food carts and state street and everything we love about this place we've called home for the past few years. Appreciate everything you enjoy just a little bit more, because it might all be gone in a few short months.
And if you're staying here long term, remember these moments anyways, because regardless it will never feel the same to be on this campus as an ADULT. Plus it gets kind of weird to be like 38 and hanging around Brats. Just sayin'.
To the class of 2013: Be proud, be thankful, be ready. We did it, and regardless of what previous generations think, we're going to KICK ASS.
This week was my last week of classes at the University of Wisconsin - Madison. While I'm always super excited for classes to be over (especially the really dumb ones I will never ever use), this week was different. I found myself acting differently and responding to things differently than I have in the past. For one, I cried before class on Thursday. For two, I didn't go to bed early (come on, guys, that's a big deal for this kid). For three, I was trying to make class time go a little bit longer.
Why?
Because when I woke up on Tuesday to go to class, I looked in the mirror and realized "Holy crap, I'm graduating from college and I'm 22 and I'm old and a grown up."
There's this thing that happens during this week. You start to think about each moment you're in and how immediately that moment is gone. You start to think about your freshman or sophomore or whatever year was your first year at this institution you're graduating from and remember that feeling on the way to your dorm. For me, that feeling was fear, anticipation, anxiety, excitement, pretty much every feeling ever. You arrive in your dorm and you just want to meet new people. You can't wait to order your books, you can't wait to go to your first class, you can't wait for your parents to leave so you can go to your first "real" party. You can't wait to go to that first UW football game and you can't wait for your first jump around. You can't wait to play dizzy bat and puke everywhere after because let's face it, it's unavoidable. You can't wait to eat shitty food from Gordon's or Frank's or whatever those spoiled baby freshmen get nowadays. You can't wait to cram everyone on your floor into one room because hey, we're freshmen and it's what we do. You can't wait until you're a sophomore and you can make fun of freshmen. You can't wait for that internship, that first college job, your seminar classes. You can't wait to turn twenty-one because using a fake even when it's to Brogan's (rest in peace) or Nitty and you know you'll get in anyways, is still terrifying. You can't wait to go to the real bars. You can't wait until your friends stop wanting to go to the real bars because it's SO DAMN EXPENSIVE. You can't wait until senior year because junior year sucks and senioritis is already calling.
Except shit, now senior year is done. So my advice to all of you non-seniors? Wait.
Wait to make a college decision. Wait to move into your dorm. Wait to order books, go to classes, meet new people. Wait to go to that first UW game and play dizzy bat and throw up. Wait to eat that shitty food, wait to turn twenty-one. Wait to be a senior. Because soon enough, you will be, and soon enough, it will be over. And you'll be left wondering where time went and what happened and sobbing while looking at facebook pictures and eating cans of soup because you're trying to not buy groceries until graduation (that last part might be exclusive to me).
I know this is super cliche, but most of my blog posts are. I mean it, you crazy kids. College goes by SO FAST and it's the best time of your life so take everything and slow down. Wake up and appreciate where you are and who you're with and that hangover shitty gut feeling that you wish you didn't have. Someday you'll look back on these times and wish it were here (okay, maybe without the hangover). This is the last four years of our lives that we can actually and respectfully call ourselves "kids" and not be laughed at. Do not take it for granted.
For those of you reading who are walking with me across that stage at the Kohl Center next weekend, I commend you. Take this next week or these next few months and appreciate being able to be in this terrific city. Appreciate walking up Bascom and sitting at the terrace. Appreciate going out on a weeknight even though everything (and your boss) tells you not to. Appreciate shitty bars because hey, they're OUR shitty bars. Appreciate the loud noise the street makes when you're trying to sleep. Appreciate the capitol. Appreciate being able to text a friend when you've had a shitty shitty morning and just being able to walk over to eat breakfast and rant. Appreciate your friends drunken text messages and snapchats that they will never get back and GOD you did not want to see that. Appreciate library mall and food carts and state street and everything we love about this place we've called home for the past few years. Appreciate everything you enjoy just a little bit more, because it might all be gone in a few short months.
And if you're staying here long term, remember these moments anyways, because regardless it will never feel the same to be on this campus as an ADULT. Plus it gets kind of weird to be like 38 and hanging around Brats. Just sayin'.
To the class of 2013: Be proud, be thankful, be ready. We did it, and regardless of what previous generations think, we're going to KICK ASS.
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